Tips for the DIY Wedding Bride

I know there are a lot of couples who do their own weddings. Instead of hiring a wedding planner, they go through all the motions of choosing the caterer, the dressmaker, the church, the venue for the reception, the photographer etc. and the bride handles all the nitty-gritty details. I am all for that since it gives the couple a project to-do (one of the most important projects! next one would be having kids...) and they can also save up a lot by doing things themselves.

BUT!

Sad to say, you really cannot do it on your own. Aside from tying the know, the most important objective you should have for your wedding day is TO HAVE FUN. I've seen a couple of brides give in to anxiety on their wedding day. Bad idea sister! Bad for the photos! You wouldn't want to have a ngiting aso smile on your wedding photos right? Right?

The key elements to having a DIY wedding are: (1) your friends/relatives; (2) delegating properly; (3) forgetting about all the details and just enjoying your wedding day.

(1) your friends/relatives

Your wedding is something you can use as an excuse to hold coffee get-togethers with, perhaps, your bridesmaids. Do not allow them to be mere "decoration" in your wedding! Get them moving and meet-up with them to help you out on wedding day tasks. It's also fun! Do it with your best gal friends (and willing guy friends) or your relatives. I was around 8 years old when I started having wedding tasks for all my Titas and cousins who got married. Imagine the possibilities!

It pays to have many friends!!!

(2) delegate properly

Emailing tasks to friends IS NOT ENOUGH. Make sure your instructions are clear and accurate. Here are just some of the tasks you should assign someone of handle, but make sure you have an "overall coordinator", one who everybody can run to on the day of the wedding so you can just sit back, relax and have fun with your sweetie:

Ceremony Things to Do

1. Physical arrangement of entourage during the ceremony
2. Church & Entourage flower arrangement
3. Distribution of entourage bouquet and corsage (don't forget to bring pins!)
4. Check sound system at the church
5. Distribution of missalette
6. Line-up of readers (readings, responsorial psalm)
7. Choir arrangement (make sure there's someone who'll prompt them to play the wedding march!)
8. Line-up of photo batches and have someone announce this or include it in the missalette

Reception Things to Do

1. Check for physical arrangement, table arrangements
2. Signature frame signing
3. AVP Presentation
4. Arrangements for the program (doves, bouquet throwing etc.)
5. Distribution of souvenirs
6. Background music/orchestra
7. Emcee program/script

These are just things I remember on top of my head and I'm sure there are many more nitty-gritty stuff that need to be cared for during the wedding day itself.

(3) enjoy your wedding day

I have a former colleague who held her wedding in Bali (Indonesia) and she took care of all the details for the wedding. When she came back I asked her how things were and she said that all she did was to forget about all the mishaps and just enjoyed her wedding day. Despite all the loopholes, her photos were awesome because SHE ENJOYED HER WEDDING DAY.

And, don't forget your sense of humor!

How to do a Bridal Shower

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. That's me. Hmph. I am a professional abay I think. I have gowns in many different colors because I always get chosen to be either a maid-of-honor, a bridesmaid or a secondary sponsor. Heck, one of my friends even had a gown made for me when I was just her wedding coordinator. I think I should start renting out my gowns. LOL.

Anyway, as a professional abay, I've time and time again planned bridal showers/despedida de solteras for my friends. I haven't done any of the rowdy ones though, but if you need a guy (you-know what kind) I think you can just find one on the Yellow Pages or ask any of your guy friends, they might be willing to do a free-show (I wouldn't want any of my guy friends to do-so when my time comes, puh-leeeaz!). LOL.

For the parties I've arranged for my friends it's usually nothing fancy. What's important is gathering everyone who is dear to her and just spending some girlie-fun time, with or without the fiance. Last weekend was no different when I planned for a party for a dear friend who's getting married next week. I just SMSed our friends that we're having a shower, asked them what food they were going to bring and gave out a theme for the gifts (thongs/undies). We just fixed things up in less than a week and everyone just showed up at my door. Nothing fancy, but packed with so much fun and camaraderie.

The program went this way:

1. Dinner
2. Harana for the couple (coz we're part of a choir)
3. Bride formally introduces the fiance to her friends
4. Bride and Groom grilling (we asked them questions like when their first kiss was, how they became a couple... our "elders" were the ones asking the more controversial questions!)
5. Marriage advice from the elders
6. Gift offering from the bride

It was as simple as that, but we had a helluva lot of fun!

Here are some photos of the bride and groom during the grilling and gift-offering:



And the friends serenaded the bride and the groom with "When I Fall in Love":



Translation
*abay - entourage
harana - serenade

Finding THE ONE

Did you wait a long time to find your one true love? I'm almost sure you're reading this post because you found it through Kasal.com and that you're scrounging around for information because you are making arrangements for your wedding. Right?

If you've been following my personal blog you'd know I have been searching and searching and searching for my one true love. I sure wish it was as easy as doing a search on Google. LOL. But then again, I don't think that's something that can be indexed. Well, that's what dating sites are for and that's something I don't think I'll ever do.

Anyway, I've asked most of my married friends how they knew that they were marrying their spouse. They all said that you would just know. Geez, how vague could they get. Even my parents said the same thing.

Reading Bo Sanchez' "Finding Your One True Love" helped me a lot in clarifying things in my mind and it kinda changed my perspectives in a lot of things. I used to be one who'd run away from guys who'd try to get close to me. Brother Bo said that one must meet as many guys as possible. The worst thing you'd end up with are loads of guy friends. I'd say, it's true! LOL.

I've been through a lot, including a broken engagement (looong story) and it took quite a while before I got over that hump. Quite a number of people have told me that it's really going to be hard for me to find THE ONE because my Dad's a tough act to follow and they say one would normally look for someone like Dad. I'd say before getting married make sure he is not one of the guys listed in my 'not to date' post and think about the following:

(This is just my opinion based on my experiences and the advice of my parents.)

1. Were you friends before you became a couple?
2. Do you trust each other?
3. Are your values the same as his?
4. Do you laugh together?
5. Are you really, really sure you want to spend the rest of your life with this person?

There's no real formula I guess on knowing if he/she is THE ONE and I think to really know, you just really have to pray hard and keep your eyes open. You never know, he/she might just be right under your nose.

If in doubt, I strongly suggest reading Bo Sanchez' book "Finding Your One True Love" and getting counsel from a priest.

What do you think?

*This post was inspired by the movie "A Love Story" starring Maricel Soriano, Aga Muhlach and Angelica Panganiban. Now available on DVD (that's how I got to watch it).

My Wedding Dream

Have you ever dreamed about your wedding? Not daydream, but have an actual dream that you are walking down the aisle. I have!

I've been having the same dream since I was 15. It's like watching a wedding video where the camera pans on me (the bride) and then focuses out as I start walking down the aisle. I am very happy in this dream. Ecstatic. Emotional (as any bride would be I think).

At some point through the years I became curious on who my groom was and tried looking, but it was like a curtain that wouldn't open. The face was always blurred. Strange huh? It's always been that way and I've been having this dream for more than 15 years now. Have I ever seen who it is? Secret :)

Anyway, at least I could say I would be a very pretty bride (LOL) and that I look great in a tube gown (but what I wear always changes). Hahaha. I honestly don't think I'd be able to manage my own wedding (if ever!) and well I gotta find myself my groom first.

I think it's nice to dream about one's wedding, albeit mine's pretty strange and let's not talk about what the manghuhula says about me and having kids. For those who are still searching (why are reading this blog, head over to An Apple a Day if you're single haha), a lot of people have advised me to pray to St. Jude (the patron saint of the impossible) and I think my prayers have finally been answered.

*Photo - Tappy throwing her bouquet. I think the photo was taken by Boggs.

Weddings Should Be Fun

Monster brides are born because of the thought that everything in one's wedding should be perfect. NOT! I remember having a bride who didn't sleep a wink the night before her wedding because she was so anxious about impressing everybody. She didn't want to get any criticism and spent a lot of money to "impress" her guests. Well dear, you did impress everybody but you forgot to enjoy your wedding day and the anxiety you felt is all over your wedding mementos.

So, lesson learned, BE HAPPY! BE SILLY! And ENJOY your wedding day!

Which is precisely what me and my friends enjoyed at Sunshine & Leo's wedding yesterday. We all knew the pains Sunshine took in preparing her wedding. Everything was chosen after careful selection - read her blog and you'll know how she took care of every teenie-bitty detail for her wedding day. And it was just really perfect.

View Album

Get your own

I was just really happy to just be a guest for once at Sunshine & Leo's wedding. I wasn't stressed at all and managed to enjoy the whole ceremony. Plus! I got to eat a lot of the sumptuous feast at the wedding reception. And seeing old college and high school friends was really a feast in itself. We all looked like we were still in college (yeah, yeah, put that brow down) and despite our formal attire, we were just plain silly the whole time.

Remember: BE HAPPY. BE SILLY. And ENJOY!

Cheers and best wishes to Sunshine and Leo! :)